Redefining Childhood - 21 Months Into COVID
Photos by Aimee Dilger | Video by Kelly Dessoye | Article by Kelly Dessoye
Sara Valvonis sits in her living room surrounded by mementos of her 5-year-old daughter Hadley. A babydoll stroller here, a castle there. A toy kitchenette. It’s been 21 months since Covid shook up Hadley’s young life - shrinking her social sphere from an all day preschool program surrounded by other kids to a small pod of adults.
Sara Valvonis at home.
Sara, who works in healthcare, pulled her out of school at the first whiff of COVID; beginning a 14 month stint where Sara, her husband Joe, and Sara’s 80-year-old Dad doubled as caretakers and buddies.
But wrapping their lives in a protective sheath of toys, videos, and unconditional love didn’t fill the void of her preschool - Building Blocks Learning Center - and horsing around with other kids.
“As a parent, you try to promote such a happy environment, but by the end of the 14th month I found her crying underneath the dining room table,” Sara slips back to the memory of her self described “lowest point as a parent.”
“We had a learning video on, and she was just crying - rocking back and forth saying ‘I can’t do it , I can’t do it’ and that’s not my kid. She doesn’t cry like that. It was hard to know that you couldn’t just flip a switch and have it be ok for her.”
Zubeen Saeed wrestles with this every day. “In my career, spanning over the last 20 years, I haven’t really seen the extent of this.” As a parent herself and the President and CEO of Building Blocks Learning Center in Wilkes-Barre, her life’s work centers around filling the gaps of childhood development left by COVID and a strained, crowded school system.
“They’re seeing the rippling effect of shutting down, going virtual; but I think it [Covid] is just part of their life right now.” Since February of 2020 Zubeen has been walking a tightrope between physical safety and the emotional development of her clients - many of whom were too young to gain social acumen before lockdowns - and she’s helping kids like Hadley to thrive.
“I think Covid really created an environment where children didn’t have that social interaction for such a long period of time,” Zubeen says of the isolation that swept the globe, “[So] we’re not just teaching letters, numbers, and shapes; there’s a lot of emphasis on the social and emotional support that we have to give the students.”
Zubeen Saeed at Building Blocks Learning Center
Zubeen uses “practice over policy” to get kids to keep the masks on. She’s even implemented clear masks and an emphasis on eye contact for kids who are still developing language skills in a concerted effort to jolt emotional development that’s been dampened by 21 months interacting with other humans through covered faces or technology for school and socialization.
It’s all made Zubeen think about her own kids. “I’m driving my car and [my kids] were raised in the backseat … but as a parent you’re too busy to recognize ‘what imprint are you having?’”
Hadley Valvonis dances in front of her mirror as mom, Sara, looks on.
The Valvonis foyer has a floor to ceiling mirror. When she was a baby, Sara would scoop Hadley into her arms, mom and daughter in a twirly embrace performing for a rapt audience of their own reflections.
Almost 6 years later Hadley stomps and sashays in front of the same mirror. With bubblegum pink headphones tangled in her hair and gripping a smartphone with her tiny hand, she’s swept up in her own silent disco. In the other room, Sara looks on - the dichotomy of play and responsibility interwoven in the new reality spun up by Covid.
Zubeen Saeed talking in Building Blocks’ office.
“As parents, we all had to work virtually, so [technology] became a very convenient source for parents to use - and nobody’s at fault,” says Zubeen. To offset this phenomena, she emphasizes play and human interaction as a natural, organic way to connect.
Hadley and Sara launch a jingle bell from a catapult.
“Ready. Aim…FIRE!” Giggles ricochet off the living room walls as a red jingle bell is launched from a plastic spoon catapult.
“I made it out of rubber bands,” says Hadley sheepishly - pretty proud of her contraption. It’s one of the many crafts she’s taken home from Building Blocks. Sara is equally delighted. “What I loved about Building Blocks, and what I still love is that it helps you as a family. I was able to copy their positive discipline - I used their words. It was very concrete stuff you got from Building Blocks to help you.”
Hadley and Sara read together.
That type of support for parents is in short supply in Luzerne County where the most current published data puts single parent households at 40.65% as of January 2019. According to Zubeen, that number in 2021 is more like 50%.
“We need to have stronger resources for parents just to learn about PTAs or how many sports are too many sports or what to do with your child at this age…when they’re in grade school, doing sports, piano classes - running around - you don’t get to stop to be a parent. You’re just on this treadmill.”
